I recorded this podcast last year, not realizing just how relevant it would become today with the rise of AI being used for personal conversations. My first encounter with AI "chatterboxes," as we used to call them, was through a system developed at the MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory by Joseph Weizenbaum. It was called ELIZA. Interestingly, ELIZA was originally designed to show how shallow human-to-computer communication was at the time. But when it became available on personal computers, something unexpected happened—people found it surprisingly engaging.
And now, here we are, some 60 years later, with computers and AI systems that are far more powerful and eerily human-like.
I’ll admit, I’ve always had mixed feelings about engaging in personal conversations with AI. Is it really worth it? There’s so much to unpack here, which is why I’m sharing this conversation I had with Patricia Belleno, a licensed therapist who specializes in loneliness. She and I touched on some fascinating ideas when we first recorded this, and I’m already planning a follow-up conversation with her to dive deeper into the growing adoption of AI confidants.
Many of you have reached out to me about this topic recently, and it’s one I find both timely and deeply intriguing. With so many people feeling isolated or hesitant to connect with others, we’re seeing a rise in relationships being formed with AI companions. Is this a step forward? Or is it something we should be cautious about?
That’s exactly what I want to explore further, and I hope this conversation is just the start of this learning journey.
Today I am talking with Patricia Belleno Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor (LPC-S) and a Master Certified Integrative Life Coach.
Do you feel like you basically LIVE ONLINE?
We’re going to explore the rising issue of loneliness and though the initial part of the conversation focuses on Gen Z, I have a feeling every generation past and present is dealing with this issue. This all seems so ironic when you think of how hyper-connected we are, yet, something is amiss.
In Psychology Today by Ryan Jenkins CSP he discusses how isolated and lonely The Gen Z generation feels. As I said, I have a hunch that regardless of what generation you’re from and despite our ability to be instantly socially connected 24/7 – many of us feel – lonely.
Ryan’s article focuses on record high levels of loneliness in the Gen Z generation and he these three key points.
Seventy-three percent of Gen Z report they feel alone either sometimes or always.
Seventy-two percent of Gen Z workers say they want to communicate with managers in person, while most managers think they prefer instant messages.
Reversing the loneliness trend in Gen Z requires addressing contributors such as overstimulation which leaves less time to connect.
Additionally:
In another article “Conversations with Five Gen Zs” REX WOODBURY in The DigitalNation Substack newsletter Rex writes:
“I was chatting recently with an entrepreneur building for Gen Z, and she said something interesting: “Gen Z’s brains are browsers with a million tabs open.” Her point was that Gen Zs are exposed to information overload, constantly flooded with peer pressure and comparison, and FOMO. Overflowing filing cabinets. “Escapism,” the entrepreneur continued, “This isn’t just for fun—it’s for survival.”
Listen to this relaxed engaging conversation from a therapist’s point of view on loneliness and how we can be our own first responder to find our happiness and a belief in ourselves.
You can reach Patrica at Patricia Belleno, MS, LPC-S
Key points
0:00 - Opening discussion about constant pressures for attention in modern life
2:02 - Statistics about Gen Z loneliness:
- 73% feel alone sometimes or always
- 72% want in-person communication with managers
- Need to address overstimulation that reduces connection time
13:18 - Discussion of different types of change:
- Changes we choose vs changes forced upon us
- Impact of pandemic on career/lifestyle changes
- Healthcare workers, teachers dealing with sudden transitions
17:33 - Growing loneliness despite technological connectivity:
- Social media creating surface-level connections
- Missing deeper authentic human connections
- Comparison and assumptions about others' lives
21:08 - Distinction between being alone vs feeling lonely:
- Being alone can be fulfilling
- Loneliness is lack of meaningful connection even in crowds
- Described as "deep hunger" for connection
23:14 - Role of self-relationship:
- Becoming your own "first responder"
- Importance of self-regulation and emotional management
- Building loving connection with oneself
28:55 - Closing thoughts on therapy:
- Not just about complaints/past analysis
- Focus on helping people find fulfillment
- Providing practical tools for desired changes
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